My designs and work have been called art by many people before, yet I never really thought of myself as an artist as much as a person making a living with my hands and creating what I was imagining and raising a son and having a really amazing rollercoaster of a life, always driven by creativity and travel and beauty. I've done many things in regards to expansion of my creativity - boutiques, trade shows, pop-ups trunk shows, and any other show you can think of - but never an art show.
Zoom forward and my Dad passes on. just like that, and isn't it the truth that you never realize the impact of someone in your life until they are unaccessible. he left me his journals, he new I would find them, in fact I think he left them for me..... he called them "An Art Story" ( Story being his last name) I read his "Story" his wins and losses, his process, his why.
I guess it provoked me to question my own mortality - my "why" for living and why I am so inspired to keep creating. I questioned what is really important to me - is it to make another tunic? to build another sand castle in brick and mortar or even in the etherial world of the internet? I started to think about my strong connection to the spirit world, and started to see how much of my creativity is divinely inspired - and there is a catch here, because yes we all are given gifts, yet we need to move through physicality exploring, making mistakes and reconnecting with our passion - like the saying of a diamond in the rough, to keep reworking, leveling up, being quiet to listen and starting again.
So I decided to really listen to my Guides....if I were to create a divinely inspired work of art how would it look? and there started my process of applying to one of the largest art shows in the world.
First submission I was waitlisted - what ? I always get what I want ! yet it helped me focus my vision and clarity - determined to get in, I resubmitted.... waiting several weeks, imagining both feeling the joy of being accepted, and the disappointment of not being accepted I waited patiently. In Ibiza, I get the I am accepted email. YIKES ! a totally different feeling now evoked "WTF" did I do! now I have to kill it , not for me alone, but for my Guides who are counting on me to bring this vision, to inspire maybe just one person.
And the process began.... to dream of things and to sit in your manifestations in your mind is one thing, to go into physicality and have the density of another person and their ideas, or the rules of a show of that scale, and just the shear shipping stainless steel pieces and clothing across the country -so many variables that can and do cause stress, yet strengthen that muscle of faith that actually evolves our spirit - since I knew I was doing this for my Guides, I also new in every cell of my being that it can only work out , and probably better than I can imagine if I would let go and trust. I say this and yet there is still SO much more I need to let go of, like layers, i let go and then i see a whole other set of things I was holding onto, still even now that the show is over I am still doing it! not trusting fully, questioning what ifs and how comes.
I thought the show was going to speak for itself. What I realized after opening night was that I was going to need to be there the entire time.. Of course the artist is the one that anyone interested would want speak to! I made it my commitment to connect, talk and discuss my work with everyone that showed interest. There were tears, questions, comments and shared experiences in this booth, an amazing interaction of ideas on spirituality and what I realized was that possibly not so much for the observers, this was my initiation, my test to be the channel for my Guides, and I can say that I passed the test.
The show was based on 3 BEINGS, that stood 10' tall, all based on an Ascended Master and my interpretation of them. Francis, based on St.Germain and Kuthumi, Astria, the Starry Mother and Nada, who is an earthly Mother Presence. Each BEING had a collection based on them, everything was sustainable, upcycled, recycled and mostly hand done
Was it a success? What is success? I am still processing these things....It has changed me, evolved me, instilled confidence....and will lead me to another experience of creativity....and then I will die and my son will have pictures and words and memories to go through that may or may not inspire him.